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MY TAKE ON – Getting So Used To Rejections

my take on- rejection


Fear of Rejection is one big dreaded monster that seems to plague every human on the face of the earth. Of the many fears, fear of rejection is a major degree holder; we fear social rejection, parental rejection, rejection by our siblings, peers and so on. These fears slowly cripple us and make us static because we are afraid that if we dare venture out, we may get rejected. Whether it is related to low esteem or not, fears are something that must be conquered if we are to go far in life. Let me add that one can never know his true value or worth if he doesn’t venture out.

What about in a case where you have conquered the fear of rejection, ventured out and still get rejected. Well, you dust yourself and try bargain. Keep trying until you achieve what it is you have set out you have set out to do. Sometimes, we may realize that the bold step is all we need to take towards actualization of our dreams other times; we may actually come face to face with rejection. Don’t back down, take it with pride and say to yourself it is part of the success story.

Another wahala is if you get so comfortable with rejection to the point that it doesn’t move you anymore, it’s really bad… I almost got caught up in that trap recently,  I have been visiting publisher’s website with respect to the publication of my debut novel. For every publisher I contacted, the result was rejection. Unconsciously, I had become so used to them saying NO that “we are sorry mail doesn’t make me budge anymore”. ‘It is just one of those mails’ I would end up saying. While it is good to overcome fear of rejection, mine was just too much. Your saying NO to my request was as good as you saying yes. I had this notion in my head that expected no before a yes for every request I tendered to anyone.

For some reason, I had one of such mails and I just flicked it over and continued with my daily routine. It was when I did that unconsciously that it came to my notice that I was so used to rejection. I immediately rebuked myself and sought to have a paradigm shift. I had to deal with the root of the problem because nobody could help me but myself. I sought to find out when I became so comfortable with rejection. I knew that slowly but surely; this state of mind will affect everything I do and in turn affect my output. It had to go and it had to go now.

What did I do? I gave myself several speeches. Talking to your-self is not madness alone as they would have us believe. Talking to your-self is the best form of motivation and inspiration. Did this turn back the rejections, no it didn’t but it sure made me see that there is time for everything, a time would come when my book will be ready and accepted for publication and a time would come that rather than outright rejection, I would be told on what to do to improve on myself. A time would come and until that time does, I will keep hope alive because it could be any moment from now.


Nene Udoh

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