The rate at which people are taking their own lives these days is heartbreaking. The issue of suicide is coming more and more prevalent in the society as teenagers and kids have also joined the trend.
Recently @WayerKelvin took to Twitter where he broke the news about a 16-year-old girl in his church who terminated her life.
Read the full story below:
The church was very sad and disgusting for me today. I’d share what happened in this thread READ UP!
So apparently, news hit the church that a teenage member of the church had committed suicide. I usually help out with the teenage class so I know the girl very well. A very smart and vibrant girl. When I heard this news, It really broke me.
As expected, we had unusual visitors in the teenage class today. Mothers who came to “counsel” the other teenagers in a bid to get them in the right state of mind and avoid another loss.
It was just so funny how these women failed to address the issue. They basically came to justify their harsh and brutal style of parenting. Apparently, they heard the girl’s mother was always beating her and maltreating her and that might have contributed to her killing herself.
These women went on about how as teenagers they need to understand that their parents want the best for them and that when they beat and correct them, it’s out of love. One even mentioned that she wasn’t created to be a FRIEND to her children, that she was created to be a MOTHER.
Another one contributed by saying it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be your child’s friend because children always tend to do the wrong things and you have to fight them until they get on track. If you are friendly with them, it means you are sparing the rod and definitely spoiling the child.
Another one said she made sure her children never had phones till after university, that her children also didn’t have friends, she made sure she chose their course of study and did her best to make sure they excelled. Her testimony was that all her children are successful now.
In general, they were trying to remove all the blame from the parents and put it on the late girl. They said if she were born again, she wouldn’t have considered suicide. That she didn’t value her life enough and she didn’t have dreams. This is a 16-year-old they are talking about
They were telling these children that no matter how bad their parents are treating them now wasn’t up to what they experienced as children, hence they should be happy and know that there’s no parent no matter how bad that hates their child.
Some of these so-called “counselors”, even said “how are we even sure she wasn’t even pregnant and didn’t want to tell anybody” or had done bad and didn’t want to tell anyone so she chose suicide and I’m thinking to myself, If that’s the case, isn’t that a huge problem in itself
The very annoying part was how they kept sounding it that the girl has just bought a one-way ticket to hell just like that and that’s the reason they are even sad. They were telling the other teenagers that right now she’s is going to spend her eternity in hell.
And to end it all, one of the coordinators said “If you like go and buy sniper and drink just because your parents are being hard on you. It’s in a tiny bottle and they sell it in Ebeano”.
I know some of these might sound like things I made up but the sad truth is I didn’t. I wept on my seat listening to these. There was no reference whatsoever to mental illness. NOTHING at all.
The funny thing is that these women will be so confident that their children would never attempt suicide. They really think they are doing everything right and their children aren’t “foolish” enough to want to kill themselves.
Our parents need a lot of education, to be honest, but as a more enlightened generation that we are, I urge you all to take the responsibility on yourself. Make sure you are talking to your younger ones. Show them that you care. Show them the love your parents aren’t showing them.
Be the one reason your siblings want to stay alive. Watch out for them, support them and love them unconditionally.
My sister is currently in school and she heard about the whole thing and we spoke briefly about it. She said why would a young girl like that think of killing herself? I explained a lot of things to her, then she admitted that she has felt that way too sometimes
But she just somehow comes to her senses and gets a hold of herself. I made her PROMISE me that if she ever feels that way again, she would talk to me.
To parents please be involved in your child’s life. If possible, be your child’s best friend. Don’t let culture and religion blind you. You are the first human before any other thing. Show your children, Immeasurable love, don’t make them go out to look for it. The Wayer @WayerKelvin
While we may not completely blame the girl’s death on her parents, but I also think that this should serve as a wake-up call to every parent, intending parents and the society at large.
Parents should learn how to police their wards without going overboard. For instance, When a child goes wrong, it is most appropriate for parents and guardians to apply some disciplinary measures to correct the child without being abusive.
Again, parents need to know when to apply beating or other forms of physical punishment and when to apply words of advice in helping a child get back on track. What that simply means is that the method used in correcting a child who didn’t run an errand properly should never be the same used in correcting a teenager who mistakenly got pregnant.
Know when your child needs to be shouted at, beaten and when he or she should be gently talked to, and this does not in any way imply that parents should condone evil.
Go the extra mile to find out what is going on in the lives of your kids, they could be going through depression due to pressure, bully from school, lack of self-confidence or some bottled up anger, unforgiveness etc, and it is your responsibility as a parent/guardian to find out these things for yourself.
The society should also learn to take responsibility for one another, what affects one should affect all.
I was amazed when I read people’s reactions on this guy’s tweet. The comment from some of the parents showed that some Nigerians can be quite blind to the truth and sentimental when it comes to religious matters.
It saddened my heart that some parents instead of learning from the girl’s experience and proffering solution they heaped insults on the poster for bringing the matter to the public, saying that it was an insult on the church and the girl’s family.
To every parent reading this now, do not wait until this happens to you. Get closer to your kids, find out what is going on in their lives and see how you can help them with whatever challenges they might be going through.
Let’s have your view on this matter in the comment.